Überbaster Tested and Proved

I had a terrible nightmare last night. I was alone on the balcony of a cabin deep in the woods. Two 6-foot tall wild turkeys came to the door. I tried to hide but the next thing I knew the turkeys had jumped onto the balcony. They had blades attached to their wings. I tried to hide in a corner but a third turkey was there hiding, waiting. They drew their wings and began swinging viciously at me. I had only a shampoo bottle to defend myself. When I swung back at them, one bird sliced it in half. Luckily I woke up screaming before I was hacked to death by man-sized game birds.

It was a timely dream. Earlier in the evening turkeys all over the world sensed a strong foreboding; a new device that would threaten their population had come into existence and proven itself in practice. Such a device would send consumers back into supermarkets demanding anything they could baste. The device is the Überbaster, and it works.

The chicken I roasted was basted about 12 times on its journey to 165°. It really could not have been simpler to operate, though I need to work on a better way to attach the tube to the bird in the oven. The skewer worked, but a brace with at least another prong would keep it in place much better. The images indicate that the stock was distributed over the whole bird, though I can’t be entirely sure since the oven I used had no window.

The chicken was perfect. The skin was crispy and delicious. The meat was moist. It is at least as good as any chicken I have ever roasted, and it tasted better than chickens I’ve roasted in recent memory. I believe that keeping the oven door closed contributed greatly to the overall quality of the chicken, and frequent basting clearly helped too. It went very nicely with mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese. I will continue to roast this way while I work to improve the baster. Video, Images

Josh’s Roasted Chicken

• 1 whole chicken
• 1 lemon
• Several sprigs of rosemary
• 6-8 cloves of garlic
• 1 stick of butter
• Salt & pepper
• Olive oil

Preheat the oven to 375°. Wash the chicken inside and out. Let chicken dry. Mince the leaves of a few sprigs of rosemary and a few cloves of garlic. Mix rosemary and garlic with half a stick of softened butter. Put the butter mixture under the skin of the chicken breasts. Rub olive oil and/or remaining butter on the outside of the chicken. Coat the inside and outside of the chicken with salt and pepper. Squeeze the juice of a lemon inside the bird. Stuff the bird with the lemon and remaining garlic and rosemary. Roast the chicken to an internal temperature of about 120°, then crank the heat to 425° to finish. Baste frequently.